This will pretty much just be an expansion on my Moodle post, but I’m excited to write this blog post because altruism is a concept I’m deeply fascinated by. I would personally define an altruistic action as one that benefits an other/others who is/are not close with or related to one who performs such an action. I think that while we can certainly frame a desire for elevation, the “warm fuzzies” or whatever you want to call the emotional reward as an explanation for altruism, I think that argument is a bit too simple to nullify the validity of the desire to help another for no other reason than to be helpful. I recall actions of mine from last summer, for example–not trying to put myself on a pedestal, these are just the first actions that come to mind–such as helping a homeless man carry his cart up multiple flights of stairs on the subway or helping a grocery store worker transport the contents of a box that broke from one aisle to another. In both of these situations, I had self-serving reasons not to perform the “altruistic” actions that I chose to. In the former situation, I was already likely going to be late for a rehearsal for a musical I was in. In the latter, I was supervising students at the summer program for which I worked during a trip to this grocery store, yet I did my best to multitask in order to make this man’s life easier. I think it is fair to say that I got something out of helping these people, but I (perhaps incorrectly–I obviously can’t look at myself objectively) also think that I had less to gain from feeling that warmth, self-validation or what-have-you than I did from adhering to the tasks I was already working towards completing in those moments. What I think could potentially detract from the argument for these actions being altruistic is the concept of reciprocal altruism, particularly when applied on a grand scale. I’m definitely of the belief that, broadly speaking, people should help one another more. While it’s highly unlikely that I would ever see the homeless man or grocery store employee who I helped again–and even more unlikely that either of them would remember by face–the only semblance of control I have over getting people to help one another more is to help others myself and hope that they pick up the habit. Perhaps that is not altruism, because it’s pretty firmly a motivation for my actions other than “doing as much good as possible.” But it’s a starting place, I think.

It’s really funny to me that this is the week that we’ve been studying relationships and attraction, because that topic is becoming strangely relevant to my life in quarantine as of late (I hope I’m not over-sharing here, but I think this is really interesting from a social psych perspective). I lost my summer job because of COVID, which is a job that I worked last summer and would have been returning to with a lot of the same co-workers, with whom I formed a really tight-knit group of friends. One of my co-workers with whom I was reasonably good friends–but not incredibly close–texted me about how disappointed she was that we wouldn’t get to be going back to our job this summer. We talked for a while about that and related topics, and somehow naturally got into a really big-picture philosophical conversation about the state of the world right now. That led to quite a number of other really great and complex conversations, and we’re now at the point where we’re talking easily every day, often for hours at a time. We haven’t verbally acknowledged anything yet, but it seems pretty clear that there’s something between us–I at least have developed a pretty big crush on her. And frankly, although I know her on an in-person basis, it’s really surprising to me that we (it seems) have developed a mutual attraction through text (as well as a couple of FaceTimes, but really mostly text). We have a lot in common (including some relatively obscure interests which neither of us knew the other had), and the cost/reward assessment checks out because it’s really nice to have a developing connection with someone during a time in which connections are becoming scarce, but all of the physical cues and elements that influence relationships are obviously completely off the table in this scenario. Proximity cannot be a factor. I have been in a somewhat similar situation once before–I began an almost-relationship with someone who I ended up dating for over a year at the end of my first year at Kenyon, so she and I talked regularly and grew close through texting and FaceTiming. But our relationship was clearly going in a romantic direction before the summer, whereas this one moved from an obvious state of friendship to something different purely digitally. This makes me wonder how such a situation influences the development of a relationship–does the fact that we’re able to write out our thoughts make up for the lack of physical closeness? How much does our inevitable current state of loneliness influence our situation? I actually looked up a social psych study about texting and attraction because of this, and it does seem like this is a somewhat normal thing, but I think the current situation certainly influences it in an interesting way.

Since we just learned about discrimination, I’ve been thinking about it in the context of the current moment and how it could be manifesting in new or relatively undiscussed ways. The most obvious is the shunning of people who have contracted or could easily be thought to have contracted the virus. A friend of mine told me a few days ago that she had it, and asked that I not tell our other friends because she didn’t feel comfortable with everyone knowing. That says a lot about the situation at hand–she was uncomfortable with me telling a group of people who are literally hundreds of miles apart about her having contracted an illness. Perhaps we’d see that happening in the past with, say, something severe like cancer or ALS, but that’s much more about not wanting to tell people about something traumatic one is experiencing. It’s embarrassing to have contracted the virus for some reason, even from afar. I also wonder about how this might affect racial discrimination in the future. We’re already seeing a really saddening uptick in acts of discrimination towards Asian people, which could perhaps create a new stereotype about Asian people being contagious somehow post-COVID. I also wonder if being in a situation in which most of us are just with our families (which are often comprised of a single ethnicity) will result in an uptick in racial discrimination generally, since our day-to-day ingroup is suddenly tiny and look even more alike than they may have when we were with friends. Perhaps this will make various outgroups seem more different/threatening. Then again, the optimist in me hopes that all of this will bring us together, since we’re all going through different versions of the same thing right now.

Since the whole world is spending most of their time inside right now and practicing social distancing (well, many of us–and many more each day, I hope), I think a lot of us are very glued to social media right now. I know I am. It makes me feel less alone in a time when my only company is my parents, my brother and my friend who lives nearby with whom I take walks while standing several feet apart. This may mostly be amongst my social media circle of college-age or recently graduated young adults (and by extension, likely many if not most high-schoolers), but I’m noticing an overwhelming trend of people consuming the same media and making posts and memes about it. This excellent example of social influence in an antisocial moment is most easily observable with Tiger King, the Netflix documentary series that has absolutely blown up in the past two weeks, and Animal Crossing: New Horizons, a new video game for the Nintendo Switch which (crucially) allows players to visit each other’s “islands” and play together. The former depicts such outrageous personalities and events that its contents are absurdly easy to make references and jokes to and about, and that has made it fodder for memes. I saw a number of memes about Tiger King on Instagram comedy accounts which I follow–some of which have as many as tens of millions of followers–which I think easily resulted in people taking the heuristic route and assuming the show was worth watching because of the sheer volume of free advertising it achieved through these posts (I think people who took this route are correct–it’s a fantastic show, if not a surprisingly depressing one). I have no doubt that other students mentioned it in their blog posts this week. The latter, in the case of many (including myself) has, interestingly, been a form of conformity that we have been willing to pay $60 (the price of the game) for. So many of my friends have told their own friends to get the game because there are inherent advantages to visiting others’ islands. Each island, for example, only contains one of the six fruits available in the game, and the game motivates you to collect all six. Islands in different geographical locations give players access to different species of fish and insects by virtue of existing in different biomes. And, perhaps most importantly, it’s simply the “cool” thing to do–it’s a way to interact with your friends in a game that focuses on the social rather than on the action (i.e. a shooter or puzzle game). All of this goes to show that social influence is not only happening in this time of social distancing, but is more or less dictating many of the activities we are engaging in while remaining in our homes.

I’ve thought a lot about the college context during our discussions on conformity and compliance this week, specifically as it applies to Kenyon. Kenyon a very small and specific world, yet it is conducive to a number of location-specific norms which people conform and comply to. The most obvious example I can think of–one which seems to be present in every institutional context, be that a college or a high school or perhaps even a workplace (although I have less perspective on that one)–is the universal acceptance and adoption of a pretty wide range of abbreviations, acronyms and colloquialisms. For example, the universal phrase used to refer to the Drama 101 class (formally known as Introduction to the Theatre) is “Baby Drama.” Students and professors both use this phrase to the point that I have never heard anyone refer to the class by its actual prescribed name. I imagine a major factor in this is the fact that the majority of the Dance/Drama/Film department consists of Kenyon alums, who would inherently view the class as Baby Drama, but all of the factors predicting conformity check out here even with the eschewal of that fact. The number of people who use the phrase is notable, its use is unanimous and cohesive in the community, professors (figures of expertise/status/authority) use it, and as students enrolled in the class currently or previously all members of the theater community have a prior commitment to the concept of the class itself. I think the notion of figures of expertise/status/authority is perhaps the most universally applicable of these factors to a college environment because of the notable dynamic between upperclassmen and underclassmen–the upperclassmen define the social “rules” of the college for the underclassmen. When a senior, junior or sophomore refers to the two halves of the dining hall as “old side” and “new side,” a first-year accepts that referral as fact. I wonder what would happen if I made up abbreviations for things and started saying them to underclassmen. I feel like it would stick. Maybe I should start doing that…

I’ve been very invested in getting roles in shows in my time at Kenyon, and I realized during our discussion on cognitive dissonance in class today that I’ve been experiencing a significant amount of cognitive dissonance regarding the disappointing results I’ve received this semester regarding casting in shows. I didn’t get cast in a musical at the beginning of the semester for which I and many others thought I was a shoo-in for the lead, which threw off my confidence an enormous amount. And I didn’t even get a callback for The Glass Menagerie, the final mainstage play of my Kenyon career and one of my personal favorite plays, period. It’s been pretty tough for me to handle this much rejection at once in areas that I have a lot of investment in, and I think my myriad of mental responses to this situation has reflected the fact that the difficulty of the experience is likely framed by cognitive dissonance. The conflict in my mind is this: if I’m a good actor/performer, which I have little choice but to believe I am, why did I lose these roles as a senior? What’s making me uncomfortable and I am thus trying to justify (read: nullify) is the fear that I am not a good actor and that’s why I’ve performed badly in these auditions. If I’m correctly identifying the moments in the past that I’ve experienced as cognitive dissonance, I think my usual response to that feeling is to try and change the behavior, so I can attack the problem from its root. But in this situation, I don’t know how to change my behavior, because I don’t understand the root cause of the problem. I’ve tried to change my attitude insofar as I’ve tried to reframe the situation in my mind to be less about me and more about the vision the directors had for the characters, and that’s done a bit for me. I’ve tried to change my perception of the behavior in that I’ve tried to think about how my performance in those auditions may have been influenced by the generally weird emotional state I’m in as a second semester senior. I’ve added such consonant cognitions as, “Kenyon is weird and people’s standards are shaped by that,” “These roles just aren’t my type in these directors’ eyes” and “I’ve been cast in a show by the faculty director and shows in the student theater company in the past so maybe they want to mix things up.” I’ve minimized the importance of the belief by, frankly, wondering if I’m really cut out for acting and if I should just focus on my other career idea of teaching. I’ve reduced my perceived choice by partially deciding that it’s better that I didn’t get these roles because it gives me more time to hang out with friends in my last semester. It’s amazing how directly this concept translates to actual thought patterns. I couldn’t stop thinking about how it applied to this situation in class because these are the exact categories of thoughts I’ve had on this issue. Social psychology really is a remarkable thing–it applies itself to real life in clearer and more direct ways than anything I’ve ever studied before. I’m really enjoying seeing that phenomenon in a different light every time a new concept is introduced.

I’m in a fraternity, and this week is recruitment week. The interactions I’ve had with guys who are rushing my fraternity feel very indicative of the power of the situation. The social self seems to completely change in an environment where one is trying to impress others, and that has shown itself this week in a variety of ways–the guys who have come to rush events have been notably talkative, have responded notably strongly and positively to things that others say, and have gone out of their way to have conversations with a number of brothers so as to introduce themselves to as many of us as possible. Some of them have dominated conversation, while others have seemed to be wary of doing this and have spoken at more specific moments. Everyone This is especially interesting on the other side because they don’t know that within reason, we try to extend bids to everyone. That said, we didn’t expect to receive 26 bids (requests to join the fraternity), and it’s possible that we may have to cut a couple of people because of the sheer number who want to join. We try to be as inclusive as possible, so this has made many of us wonder how exactly we should go about weighing who should and shouldn’t get a bid. Our schemas of each of these people are fairly limited, but some of us know some of them well–one of the first-years in my a cappella group submitted a bid, for example. A number of players on the rugby team also submitted bids, and rugby players comprise a pretty large number of the group’s current members. With personal bias in the picture, the metric for everyone who we don’t know (and there are many) becomes first impressions, which I think is kind of unfair. We’re judging people off of “thin slices,” as you said in class, which aren’t necessarily indicative of who each of these people are. One of the current sophomores in the group is a really nice guy, but is very quiet, and I feel like if he were at events this year he may not have gotten a bid because he didn’t really speak much at events last year. I wouldn’t want to exclude people like him. I don’t really know how the decisions are going to go, but I hope we’re fair about them.

This is an example post, originally published as part of Blogging University. Enroll in one of our ten programs, and start your blog right.

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